Be-Do-Have Model

There’s a popular model amongst personal development folk that goes something like this. Instead of wanting to have the life of a millionaire, or have a nice car, have a nice house etc. that you first need to be like a millionaire (think like a millionaire), then do the things millionaires do and then as a consequence, you’re going to have the millions.

Be – Do – Have = Be a loving person, Do loving things and then Have love in your life.

The problem with this model is when it comes to Stress Response. Under stress, the Be – Do – Have model is next to useless.

Do – Become

The Stress Response requires action – not a thought. It requires that you do something.

Your “flight or fight response” is already triggered if you are in the stress response. That means that physical things are already underway. Your heart rate has changed, your adrenaline and nervous system are firing up.

In this headspace, the Be-Do-Have model isn’t helpful. Mentally accessing those sorts of models with an elevated pulse, adrenaline coursing through your body etc is difficult. It can even add to stress because you could conclude the stress you’re suffering is because you’re not being something different. Which has the small requirement of changing your being added to whatever the initial stress is/was.

Even if your brain could overcome thousands of generations of flight and fight response in order to ask yourself the “To be – or not to be – question”. Then, a sensible being – in the name of self-preservation will probably instruct you to, “DO something!”.

There is, fortunately, a lot you can do to relieve the stress response.

  1. Identify the issues/dangers.
  2. Discuss these with someone if needed.
  3. Physically attend to the stress by removing yourself or creating a strategy.
  4. Mentally attend to the stress response through exercise.
  5. Remove the stress through active relaxation.

Active relaxation by the way would include things like having a massage.

Get Massage (Do) and Become Relaxed (Be)

Massage allows anyone, including you, a way to break out of the stress response.

It doesn’t actually have to be a life or death adventure that causes the stress response.

The Stress Response can be triggered by traffic, anxiety about COVID, annoying work circumstances or people in your life where expectations haven’t been met. Many of these non-life threatening events can still trigger the stress response and being like a millionaire doesn’t help.

What does help is a massage.

Massage as provided by 3 Minute Angels doesn’t have to take so much of your valuable time that it adds to the stress. It’s just 5-minutes per employee. Yet, in that 5-minutes you can go from feeling “Very Stressed” to “Divine”.

During your massage, the following events take place that deals with your stress and allow you to return to relaxation. These include:

  1. Identify the issues/dangers: The first thing we do as Angels is ask you “How do you feel?”. This gives you the chance to identify if you are stressed.
  2. Discuss these with someone if needed: Angels are as much a pair of ears as we are a pair of hands.
  3. Physically attend to the stress by removing yourself or creating a strategy: The 5-minutes it takes to receive a massage – removes you from your normal experience. It is all you need to break the stress response and enter a relaxed state of being. Deep breathing helps too.
  4. Mentally attend to the stress response through exercise: The physical process of touch, massage, techniques, stretching and breathing that form the Halo Massage relieve stress and symptoms of stress. Physically moderating the heart rate, releasing relaxation hormones (like oxytocin and endorphin) and just plain old moving the body.
  5. Remove the stress through active relaxation: As your body and mind realise there is no imminent threat (and that massages feel great) a new cocktail of hormones, and physical responses are born. You will feel divine again and be more relaxed.

Do – Become – Do – Become

A more accurate personal development model could be: We become what we do, then what we do, we become. We do this in a cyclical and enforcing mental structure that ultimately shapes how we spend our time and our personality, circle of friends, influences etc.

This model is more applicable for most because we are creatures of habit.

The Be Do Have model may work well at events. But it doesn’t work well for the stress response and when you need to relax.

For that, you’ll need 3 Minute Angels.

Get a Massage Habit